You are not your body or mind or emotions...you are a soul which got a body and experience emotions right through your senses.

How to transform your suffering into deep joy.

Suffering is a certainty in life. Our instincts tell us to turn our backs on it and try to escape our pain. But this doesn’t work. In fact, it makes the pain worse.

There is, however, a way of living that can free you from suffering and bring joy into every moment you experience. By adopting it, you will live deeply and in harmony with the world. Your relationships will improve, and you’ll be flooded with peace.

This way of living is based on the Buddha’s Four Noble Truths, which are teachings anyone can follow. Relief from suffering, and true happiness, are already at your fingertips – you just need to discover how to put the Buddha’s practices into action.

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The Buddha’s teachings provide a path to transform suffering into joy.

At 29 years of age, Siddhartha Gautama left his home to look for an end to human suffering. After six years of practicing meditation, he sat beneath a bodhi tree and decided he wouldn’t move until he’d attained enlightenment. The following morning, a breakthrough came, and he became a Buddha, flooded with love and understanding.

This awakening flowed like water. The Buddha needed to put that water into different jars so his students could understand its various elements. Those jars are known as the Four Noble Truths, and the Noble Eightfold Path. By learning these teachings and putting them into practice, you can experience peace and happiness, even during difficult times.

The Four Noble Truths work as a cycle through which you can move to gain peace.

The First Noble Truth is dukkha, or suffering. Because you are alive, at some point you’ll inevitably suffer in body or mind. The Buddha was also just flesh and blood. And like you, he experienced suffering. This common experience is what connects you and the Buddha. You can take your pain to him, and he will receive you with compassion.

Samudaya, meaning the origin of your suffering, is the Second Noble Truth. In this cycle, you connect with your suffering so you can explore it. By doing so in a loving and kind way, you can discover the cause of your pain.

Once you’ve uncovered the source of your suffering, you can practice the Third Noble Truth – nirodha, or ceasing to create suffering. Here, you stop doing the things that cause you pain. This makes healing possible.

The first three truths culminate in the Fourth Noble Truth – marga, or the path. This path is known as the Noble Eightfold Path. By following its eight practices, you can avoid the causes of suffering and instead live deeply and peacefully.

Practicing each of the Four Noble Truths involves three phases, known as turnings. These are recognition, encouragement, and realization.

As we explore the Buddha’s teachings, remember that they’re practices, not theories. By consciously committing to the practice, you can remove obstacles in your life that separate you from joy.

The first step to healing is embracing your suffering.

According to the Buddha, denying our suffering is like carrying an impossibly heavy burden. Suffering comes in many forms, from eating food that isn’t nourishing to engaging in work that harms others. Because it’s painful, most people try to escape it. But this isn’t actually possible – our pain is part of us.

Healing is impossible unless you choose to embrace your pain. Instead of viewing it as something to run away from, see it as a Holy Truth – a pathway to growth and freedom. Take your suffering into your arms, the way a mother gently picks up a crying baby. Only then can you start identifying the nature of your pain.

Imagine you’re aching all over, but you don’t know why. You go to the doctor, and she examines you so that she can diagnose you. Just as arriving at a diagnosis involves multiple steps, the First Noble Truth involves various turnings. 

The first turning of the First Noble Truth is much the same as being examined by a doctor. Just as a doctor would acknowledge your discomfort, you must recognize that you are in pain so that you can investigate its nature. It could be physical, physiological, or psychological. Regardless, you must embrace it fully, even if it takes the form of difficult emotions like hatred or anguish. You can do this by lovingly saying to your suffering that you acknowledge its presence, and that you will take care of it.

Once you’ve stopped running from your pain, the second turning – encouragement – can begin. This phase creates an opportunity to deeply explore your suffering so you can understand it better. It’s akin to the doctor running tests to pinpoint exactly what’s wrong. But instead of drawing blood or taking X-rays, you’ll use meditation to become more familiar with your suffering.

In the final turning of the First Noble Truth – realization – you receive the results of all the exploration you’ve undertaken. Like a doctor’s final diagnosis, these results allow you to name your suffering and describe its characteristics. 

The outcome of these three turnings is that you have stopped evading your pain and can call it by its true name. This identification will bring you some relief. While your suffering won’t have ended yet, you’ll be ready to progress to the next stage of the healing journey.

The second step to healing is identifying what’s feeding your suffering.

In his teachings, the Buddha told the story of a young couple crossing a desert with their two-year-old son. Long before their journey was over, they ran out of food. The couple realized that the only way they could survive was to kill their son and ration his flesh for the rest of the journey. So that’s what they did. But every time they ate their son’s body, their suffering increased, and they wept.

While this example is extreme, many of us are like that couple. We constantly feed our suffering. This happens through our ingestion of toxins. These toxins may not always be obvious to us, so we must pay attention to everything we consume – and evaluate whether it’s causing us pain.

Recognizing what you consume is the first turning of the Second Noble Truth – which, as you’ll recall, deals with the origin of suffering.

The nutrients on which you feed take many forms. The most obvious are food and drink. These can nourish you so that you’re healthy and able to help others, or they can cause you to suffer physically or mentally.

You also feed your senses and mind with the films you watch, the music you listen to, the books you read, and the conversations you have. If you feel exhausted after any of these experiences, the content you’ve consumed was likely toxic. You can protect yourself from these toxins by mindfully choosing what to engage with.

Your intentions and goals are also forms of nutrients. Ask yourself what’s motivating your actions. Are you trying to increase your wealth, possessions, or fame – or are you contributing to the well-being of others?

Finally, you must pay attention to your consciousness, which has been molded by the past – your own, your family’s, and society’s. You can choose to feed your consciousness with love and compassion, or with hatred and ignorance.

Once you’ve identified the toxins in your diet, you can enter the encouragement turning by setting an intention to change your habits. In this phase, you acknowledge that your happiness will increase if you stop ingesting toxins.

The final turning – realization ­– occurs when you put your intention into action. Using mindfulness, pay attention to what you’re consuming, and avoid toxins. This is how you tend to your body and mind in a way that reduces suffering.

The third step to healing is acknowledging the joy of well-being.

Think back to when you were a child. Hopefully, you enjoyed the blessings of a strong, healthy body. But you probably didn’t appreciate your well-being until you had an accident or got sick. You may only have recognized the wonder of health once that health was no longer available.

The Third Noble Truth helps us access well-being by valuing what we have. Most people forget to treasure a lack of suffering until suffering itself arrives. But by practicing mindfulness, you can become grateful for your well-being – and this will increase your happiness.

Before you enter the first turning of the Third Noble Truth, you’re like a child who happily takes her health for granted. But by recognizing that you experience peace when you’re free of suffering, you begin the next cycle. Even if you’re in pain, you can still access this turning by recalling times when you experienced joy or witnessed joy in others. By doing so, you acknowledge that well-being is possible.

Encouragement begins when you actively seek out joy. You can imagine joy all you like, but you won’t experience it unless you create it. Being alive is the greatest miracle of all. Because of this, joy can be found in the smallest acts – even washing the dishes! By recognizing that your suffering isn’t worth suffering for, you can connect with deep, resounding joy.

Like suffering, joy is impermanent, so learn to cultivate a ready supply of it. Use mindfulness to see all the wonders of existence. These are a constant source of happiness. Once you can cultivate joy, you will realize that it isn’t the fragile and rare experience you may have thought it was. Because your joy is now based in the marvel of being alive, it is sturdy and true.

This turning will prepare you for the Fourth Noble Truth – the path out of suffering. When you begin this phase, you recognize that such a path exists, but you don’t know how to walk it. You must encourage yourself to learn, reflect, and then act on that learning. In doing so, you will guide yourself away from pain, step by step.

When you decide to stop nurturing suffering, a pathway leading to well-being will open up before you. We’ll explore how to walk it.

To walk the path of happiness, you must challenge your perceptions.

In 1966, Thich Nhat Hanh attended a peace rally in Philadelphia. A reporter asked him whether he was from North Vietnam, which supported communism, or South Vietnam, which was pro-American. Nhat Hanh replied that he was from the center. He wanted the reporter to see beyond the labels we impose on others and engage with the reality of the moment.

To walk the Noble Eightfold Path, you must begin by practicing Right View. In this practice, you acknowledge that transformation is possible and arises from understanding suffering. But Right View doesn’t end there. It asks you to examine your perceptions constantly; after all, how you perceive things influences what you believe is true. 

Picture ten people observing a cloud. Each person will see something different: a coat, a dog, a hammer. They’ll interpret the cloud subjectively, according to their experiences.

Just like the cloud-gazers, your perceptions are influenced by your emotions. For example, if you’ve had a painful relationship with your father, you might behave aggressively toward someone who simply reminds you of him. In this way, your perceptions can give you a wrong view, which causes you and others to suffer.

To gain Right View, you must question what has formed your perceptions. Once you’re free of them, you’ll access clear vision, which will bring you understanding. Right View is the view of ultimate reality.

The second practice of the Noble Eightfold Path – Right Thinking – will come to you when Right View is solid. Your thoughts are how your mind speaks. With Right Thinking, that speech becomes articulate and beneficial.

Practicing Right Thinking means seeing things as they truly are, which is very difficult. Often, our thinking is preoccupied with past sorrows and worries about the future. But these thoughts aren’t usually based on deep understanding, which renders them unhelpful.

Just as with questioning your perceptions, you can challenge your thoughts by asking whether you’re sure they’re right. It also helps to develop a habit of asking yourself what you are doing in the moment. This draws your attention to the present so you can fully immerse yourself in whatever you’re doing – without being lured away by useless thoughts.

To heal, you must pay attention.

Right Mindfulness sits at the very core of the Buddha’s teachings, uniting all elements of the Noble Eightfold Path. Practicing it means lovingly finding opportunities throughout each day to focus on the current moment. This makes you fully present. And being fully present gives rise to healing joy.

Right Mindfulness helps you navigate your emotions, whether they’re pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral. By mindfully welcoming and observing your emotions, you become calmer. Rather than sweeping you away, your emotions will grow increasingly familiar as you pay attention to them, making them less overpowering.

Right Mindfulness also helps others. Paying attention to the people in your life is the best way to show them your love. You can do this simply by looking into their eyes, which shows them you know they are there with you. By paying attention, you’ll see when they’re suffering, and you can acknowledge their pain. This will often be enough to bring them some relief.

When you practice Right Mindfulness, you generate the Buddha’s energy, both inside you and in the world you occupy. This energy lets you see and listen deeply so you can communicate in a way that eases suffering.

Right Mindfulness leads to the next practice in the Noble Eightfold Path – Right Speech. When you pay attention to your words, you can evaluate whether they help or harm others.

Right Speech relies on deep listening, which you achieve through mindfulness. To speak rightly, you must listen and respond to others rather than spouting monologues about yourself.

Practicing Right Speech means listening with compassion – without judgment or the intention to offer advice. By listening deeply, you can ease the suffering of others and deepen your connection with them. Both parties suffer when communication channels break down, so make restoring them a priority. Sometimes, all it takes is ten minutes of deep listening and kind speech to heal a wound.

To live peacefully, do no harm.

A woman once asked Thich Nhat Hanh why she should stop drinking alcohol. She’d been drinking two glasses of wine a week for 20 years without causing herself any harm; did she really need to quit? Nhat Hanh replied that while she may not be susceptible to alcoholism, there was no way of knowing that her children weren’t. In giving up alcohol, she’d help her children and, by extension, society.

Right Action – the next practice in the Noble Eightfold Path – is grounded in a reverence for all life. That includes you, other people, plants, animals, and even minerals. This reverence prevents you from harming and killing, or supporting those who kill. Every time you hurt someone or the world, you hurt yourself. So, to avoid this cycle of damage, you must practice nonviolence.

Right Action asks you to look beyond your own interests and cultivate kindness toward others. This includes preventing exploitation, social injustice, and profit that arises at the expense of others. It’s important to strive for a way of life that fosters well-being for all.

Sexual responsibility is also an aspect of Right Action. This practice teaches that loneliness can’t be alleviated through sex that lacks kindness, understanding, or good communication. Without these qualities, sex can harm us and others, so be mindful about whom you have sex with, and why.

Right Action leads to another practice of the Noble Eightfold Path – Right Livelihood. Work that doesn’t harmonize with love and compassion will make you and others suffer. If your vocation doesn’t benefit life or the planet, at the very least it shouldn’t cause harm.

Use mindfulness at work to conduct yourself in a way that promotes a peaceful, happy environment. This means being aware of how you move between meetings, how you answer the phone, and how you interact with your colleagues and customers.

It’s important to remember that how you choose to live influences the livelihoods of other people. For instance, if no one ate meat, there would be no need for butchers, whose work involves killing. Meat-eaters share responsibility for that killing with butchers, no matter how humanely livestock is raised and slaughtered. Societies must work toward creating job opportunities that don’t cause harm, so that everyone can practice Right Livelihood. 

Joy arises from ease.

There once was a monk in Tang Dynasty China who conscientiously meditated day and night. He was proud that he practiced more than the other monks, believing that by sitting all day, he’d become a Buddha. But despite all his efforts, he didn’t find the enlightenment he sought.

Right Diligence is an energy that helps us put the Noble Eightfold Path into action. Like the Chinese monk, you might think you’re being diligent in your practice – but if your diligence isn’t based on Right View, then you’re not being diligent in the right way. So how do you know whether you’re practicing Right Diligence? Well, there will be a sense of ease in your actions – and they will bring you joy.

Right Diligence tends to the wholesome aspects of your nature while consciously putting the unwholesome aspects into storage where they can’t grow. Wholesome aspects include love, happiness, loyalty, and reconciliation. Nurturing these each day will bring you joy, which in turn will let these qualities flourish.

Joy is at the center of Right Diligence. By practicing mindfulness, you’ll experience joy and interest in what you are doing. This creates a sense of ease. It can take time to access this sense of ease – but the more you apply yourself to your practice, the more quickly ease will come.

Right Concentration – the final practice of the Noble Eightfold Path – supports Right Diligence. It’s the practice of focusing your mind on one point. Concentration makes you connect deeply with the present moment. In it, you are stable and still. When you live deeply in the moment, concentration comes naturally. And in this state, insight will arise.

Right Concentration is a gateway to seeing how deeply interconnected everything in existence is. Say, for example, you’re concentrating on a piece of fruit. You’ll begin to understand that the fruit is also the flower it grew from, the earth that fed it, and the rain that watered it. 

You will begin to see that you are not a separate entity, but one made of your family members and ancestors – all the way back through time. This will help you understand that all other lives are as valuable as your own, inspiring you to treasure life in all its wondrous forms.

Suffering is a natural part of life. You will inevitably experience it – and cause it. But this doesn’t mean you can’t experience deep joy and happiness every day. If you want to live in a way that frees you from suffering, you first have to embrace your pain and explore it using mindfulness. In doing so, you can identify what has caused your pain, and what your pain feeds on. With these insights, you will be in a position to intentionally change your behavior, perceptions, and thoughts so that you can end your suffering and the suffering of those around you. 

Actionable advice: Practice Right Speech by writing letters.

Letter writing is a form of looking deeply, so it can help you practice Right Speech if there is suffering between you and another person. If you aren’t confident that you’ll be able to speak mindfully or listen deeply, letter writing provides you with the opportunity to pay attention to how and what you’re communicating. After you’ve drafted your letter, examine it closely and rewrite any phrases that could be misunderstood or hurtful. Ultimately, your letter can nurture the seeds of transformation by healing the suffering between you and the other person.

#Write letter to your loved one everyday even if it never gets delivered.