Empathy & compassion

 Have you ever wondered how you could be more compassionate to those around you? Or have you ever considered how empathy could help you to develop a stronger bond to your loved ones?Well, empathy and compassion are closely related: indeed, empathy is the foundation of true compassion.

To have compassion for others means caring deeply about them. When we are empathic toward others, we gain insight into their perspective. For example, by truly caring about your friends’ inner feelings, you’ll be more reassuring to them, and more compassionate.On the other hand, when our empathy is lacking, there are often harmful consequences. For instance, children who grow up around caregivers who show insufficient empathy are often insecure as adults, and struggle to form strong relationships.And when a child grows up with absent parents, he can struggle to relate to people. Unfortunately, this can perpetuate a cycle in which, as an adult, he harbors deep prejudices and becomes an exploitative person – he may in turn become an absent parent to his children.Yet there’s more to empathy than compassion. Being empathic can open you up to deeper, more successful relationships with others.

This is because empathy can help to soothe and diffuse interpersonal conflicts – as, for example, when a good friend criticises you.If you show that friend empathy, you’ll attempt to address and understand her concerns. As a result, she’ll probably appreciate your empathic approach, and thus be less critical and more understanding of you.Additionally, empathy helps to eradicate any caution we may feel when it comes to being close to others. It’s a fact that most psychological pain occurs in close relationships and during our childhood years, because it’s in these situations that our memory network and emotional reactions are least controlled by the prefrontal cortex – the decision-making part of the brain.

For example, we’re more likely to get hurt as a result of putting our trust in a deceitful person when we’re young. In contrast, as adults we simply wouldn’t trust that person in the first place.

However, by being empathic as adults, we gradually erode this wariness and distrust, and consequently enable ourselves to establish deep connections with others again.